There is one very
important question they should ask you before you get baptized, but for some odd
reason they don’t. That question should be: “Are you aware that if you join
this religion by getting baptized, if you ever change your mind at any time in
the future and decide to leave it, you will be shunned? This means your
friends, parents, children and relatives will have nothing to do with you for
the rest of your life.”
So what is this shunning all about? This is the biggest tool
The Watch Tower and Tract Society has to control its members.
The dictionary says shunning is to persistently avoid,
ignore, or reject (someone or something) through antipathy or caution. To
avoid, evade, steer clear of, keep one’s distance from, have nothing to do
with.
Yep, shunning is a pretty powerful tool. How many people out
there could handle being shunned by all your family members? Yet, if you ever decide to leave this
religion that is what could be in store for you.
Maybe it doesn’t matter if they ask this
question because most eight and nine year olds would probably say yes anyway.
Wouldn’t it be funny if they said no? “Mom,
Dad, I changed my mind! I’m not getting baptized. Since there is a strong
probably I might decide to be a homosexual in twenty years from now, I’ve
decided not to get baptized after all. This way we can still be friends and you
won’t have to shun me!”
This really isn’t that funny because if
thousands of kids could see their lives down the road many years later, they would
certainly have never allowed themselves to get baptized in the first place.
Sometimes joining the club is the worst thing you can do.
If you are unrepentant and get dis-fellowshipped
and thus shunned that’s one thing. If you are dis-fellowshipped but are
repentant and want back into their organization, this is a whole different ball
game. You must endure a brutal reinstatement process. Since they love you so
much, they let you come back to their meetings. You can sit in the back of the Kingdom
Hall with your eyes looking down, feeling the shame of your transgression. No,
they don’t put a large scarlet letter on your clothes, but they might as well
for how they treat you. No one can talk to you. You will get a lot of stares.
This will happen for months or sometime even years. You will be treated this
way until the Elders decide if you have paid the price for your sins. They must
determine if you are truly repentant or just trying to put on an act of looking
repentant. The more times you are dis-fellowshipped, the longer they will make
you wait to get back in again. Or if they just don’t like you for some reason,
you will have to wait longer too. Every group of Elders is different. In one
congregation, you could be back in “good standing” and reinstated in just a few
months for having sex before marriage; in another congregation, it could take a
few years for the same offense. In some congregations, you might not get
dis-fellowshipped at all for the same offense. If you are friends with some of
the higher ups or children of some of the Elders you might get some special
consideration. Yes, you might just get “reproved ” with no
dis-fellowshipping at all. In fifty years as a member, I saw this happen dozens
of times.
I know it sounds strange, but for some odd
reason many unbaptized people are treated better then baptized people in the
organization. For example, a Jehovah’s Witnesses family could have two
children. Let’s say the children are twins. One child is baptized and one is
not. They both end up doing an activity that is not approved of by the
Witnesses. If the baptized one is dis-fellowshipped, he will be shunned for
sure. However the unbaptized one can’t be dis-fellowshipped because he never made
a commitment by being baptized. So he might not get completely shunned. In this
case, by making the decision as a child to get baptized, you are at a greater
disadvantage then your unbaptized sibling. This brings us to our next
question.
So you must be baptized first in order to
be shunned by Jehovah’s Witnesses later? Well, not necessarily. You can still
be shunned if you are not baptized. You might be “marked.” This is usually done
unofficially. The Elders or an Elder or just a group of “Brothers and Sisters”
talk among themselves and determine which individuals in Kingdom Hall should be
considered “bad associations.” You might not even know that you are marked. Most
the time this is done unofficially. Sometimes it is done officially. In this
case, the Elder will make an announcement to the whole congregation that
certain people are considered to be “bad associations.” So you might know or
you might not know that you are on their shit list. One way you will know is that
people will start acting very differently around you. Yes, the unofficial shun.
I
know all of this is very confusing.